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Jokes From KORD Listeners

Last week we asked you to tell us your favorite joke.

Here’s what you gave us so far:

 

  • If Chewbacca taught a Ceramics class, would he be known as Harry Potter?

 

  • What do you call 50 male deer, and 50 female swine? A hundred sows and bucks.

 

  • What did the psychiatrist say to the man that entered his office wearing nothing but saran wrap? I can clearly see you’re nuts.

 

  • What goes up and down but doesn’t move? “The stairs”

 

  • A man was driving by a church and on the marquee in front of the church it read “Staying in bed in Sunday morning and yelling O GOD, does not constitute going to church!”

 

  • How do you get a blonde to get on the roof? You tell her the drinks are on the house.

 

  • A cop pulls a guy over & says your eyes look red have you been drinking or doing drugs? The guy responds back in a slurry voice & says your eyes look glazed have you been eating donuts?

 

  • A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink the bartender asks how would you like to pay? the duck says put it on my bill.

 

  • Do not take a sleeping pill and laxative at the same time!

 

  • A husband read in a want ad “ALASKA stud services: $1000.” He grabs his bag and starts packing. His wife sees him and reads the ad and grabs her bags and starts packing. Husband says, “Where are you going?” Wife says, “With you, I want to see how your going to survive on $1000 a month.”

 

  • What side of a duck has the most feathers?The outside.

 

  • What didthe duck say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

 

  • A blonde and a brunet walking down the street, the brunet said, “Look, a dead duck.” The blonde looked up and said, “Where?”

 

  • What can you catch but not throw? A cold

 

  • How do you sell a deaf man a duck? WANT TO BY A DUCK!

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