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‘Dancing With The Stars’ Needs A Shakeup Call

Dancing With Scars
(Photo by Taylor Hill, Getty Images)

There is no doubt that ‘DWTS‘ is very popular, but I think they are limiting their viewing audience with the same kind of people they invite to dance. A jock, has been actors, older and younger singers, and a handful of people we thought were dead. It may be entertaining to allot of people, but watching rich people learn to dance, and the only reward is someone might turn an ankle or slip and fall, not enough to keep my interest. Let me make a few suggestions. You want ratings, let’s start with the rednecks. You invite some of those fellers off of Swamp People, or them hillbilly folks from that show where they catch catfish with their hands. Not only do you get every family, in every trailor park with illegal cable hook up watching, them boy’s are bound to have kin in the audience, and one bad review and that fruity little English guy could get poked like a bullfrog. That’s TV! Bring in Bill Clinton with his dancing partner Janet Reno, we’ll see who leads during the tango portion of the competition. Let Charles Mansion out for a while and he will dance with Ryan Seacrest, keep smiling Ryan and be careful when Charlie wants to dip ya. See, now you have the Seacrest haters and fans watching, plus the whole prison system is tuned in. You want jocks? Have Kim Kardashiandance, and each week she shakes it with a different football or basketball player. And at the finale, she dumps them all and dances with her one true love, her big ole butt. This one should be popular, any oil barron who is knowingly screwing the American public with higher gas prices does a little once a week segment called, Cage Dancing With Scumbags’. We put oil executives in a cage with hungry bears and grumpy wolverines, and they have to dance to the six minute version of Garth Brooks,’The Thunder Rolls’. Who wouldn’t watch that. You want ratings. Put Snooki, Miley Cyrus and Lindsey Lohan on the dance card, keep the dressing rooms stocked with booze and pills and bingo, now we have chance for some fireworks. I don’t have to watch, my wife will more than keep me updated. Good luck dancers, we’re all rootin’ for you.

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