Chuck’s ‘Are You Kidding Me?’ Headlines

Here are some people who have too much time on their hands, which makes me smile; I hope it tickles your funny bone as well.

We're Definitely In Kansas Now, Toto

The state of Kansas is looking to adopt an official state dog and their first choice is Toto from the 1939 classic film, "The Wizard Of Oz." Most people think it's a great choice, except PETA. It seems Kansas has a reputation for filthy, dirty, inhumane puppy mills.

Toto was a Cairn Terrier who traveled with Dorothy on her travels to find The Great And Powerful Oz, and this led to the most famous line in the movie: "Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

One politician said if they made this breed the official state dog, puppy mills all over the state would churn out litter after litter to keep up with demand. Call me stupid, but "Hey, Kansas State Legislature, why not skip a couple of two-martini lunches and that fact-finding golf trip to Hawaii and hire a big team to go out and put a stop to the horrific puppy mill abuse!?"

Sorry folks, PETA has a point; a lot of politicians want to go on TV and talk about the problems, but once they get back behind their $20,000 desk it's all forgotten. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when a fictitious dog from a movie from 1939 can cause such a ruckus. Try treating puppy mill owners like tax evaders. That should get the government's attention.

Thanks For Fixing What Isn't Broken With Valentine's Day

A grade school in Boston will not allow kids to to bring candy to exchange with other students on Valentine's Day this year because, according to school officials, it would cause a school-wide sugar high. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

What has happened to our schools? We have let the wackos with the blinders take over our schools. Kids need to be kids; if not, they grow up to be kids who didn't get to be a kid, and they end up running our country like the large amount of idiots who are doing it now.

Instead of exchanging candy, they get to make cards and origami.

Let's see... origami, now there's a long-standing Valentine's Day tradition.

I'm so glad I grew up when I did. Valentine's day at grade school used to be cards for your classmates, boxes of the candy hearts, and plenty of heart-shaped cookies. If the kids got a little hopped up on sugar, our teachers had a cure for that; it was called recess.

In the near future, Valentine's Day in school will be kids making Valentines cards out of lettuce; they'll exchange diet pills instead of candy, and they won't be able to mention Cupid because he carries a bow and arrow and is probably associated with the NRA.

Van Halen said it best: "Where have all the good times gone?"

Another Reason The Internet Is Run By Satan.

A recent study says people who are hooked on Facebook are on the same level as folks who are hooked on tobacco. Most Facebookers can't stop themselves.