Chuck’s Letter to Santa

I was gone one day, and when I return I see my morning show partner has put a post on the station website that wanted Santa to give a filter. What am I? Dirty water and air duct? Greg, Greg, Greg, you are a sad little man. In response, here is my little to Santa.

Dear Santa, could you please install a volume knob on my morning show partner, Mr. Knob. Now you hear him, now you don't. Now we're getting somewhere. While I'm at it, Dear Santa, could you come up with a device that would detect if people are talking on their cell phones or texting while driving that would lop off a finger for every offense. After getting caught at least 7 times that should slow down the problem. And oh yeah, add people who steal to that list. Also Santa, could you send a letter to those folks who are offended by the greeting, "Merry Christmas" that says 'get over it'. If people want to have a happy holiday, goody for you, I don't have a problem with that, so get off my back for wanting a merry Christmas. Leave us alone, go save the whales, stop global warming, or better yet, attend some sensitivity classes and realize they're just words, not bullets. Dear Santa, how about turning the crooked politicians orange, so we know who's been naughty and who's been honest. Then, for a year we get to slap orange people with wet chickens. Also Santa, could you make sure our government takes care of our troops when they get home, all of them. Their job is tough enough, they shouldn't have to come home and go through so much red tape. Our Government wants them over there, so don't act like you don't know where they've been when they return, these men and women deserve better, Obama. Please make sure every kid gets a hot meal, a warm bed and a chance to be a kid. Thanks for your time Santa, and thanks for making the world a better place, even if it's just for one night. Oh by the way Santa, Merry Christmas!