I'm havin a boat race party at my house! yer all invited!!...go down squirrel pine rd, take a left at cooter bartlett's house....go down till ya see ol bunky simpsons broken down chevy truck, take another left...look for old man winklers jerky stand & my trailer is just a lil ways down the road...if you see sissy fritzers house you've gone too far.

Here are six ways to tell if you're at the right party:

People are wearing shirts making fun of PETA.

Flickr, dotpolka
Flickr, dotpolka
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Someone who's had too much to drink gets really excited about the idea of an open fire.

Flickr, e53
Flickr, e53
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No one's vehicle looks how the manufacturer intended.

Flickr, erik
Flickr, erik
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There will be men who spend more time grooming their mustache than the whole rest of their body.

Flickr, Joseph Brent
Flickr, Joseph Brent
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There will be gratuitous displaying of guns and lots of conversations about zombies.

Flickr, Matthew Hogan
Flickr, Matthew Hogan
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People will get "creative" cooling themselves off.

Flickr, tedsblog
Flickr, tedsblog
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