On the KORD morning show, Greg had a poll on the 5 things you should never ask a man, though I agree with the 5, I feel the poll fell a little short. Some of the things you're not suppose to ask were: Do you love me? Do I look fat? What are you thinking? All good non-questions, but here are a few of my own.

Chuck's things you never ask a man

* Is my sister cute? A: Yes, now get us another beer while we watch football

* Will you take my yappy little dog for a walk? A: Yes, I'll take it to the nearest Chinese restaurant and have them help me wok it.

* Can my Mom come on vacation with us? A: Yes, as long as are vacation consists of hitting every Pottery Barn from her to Maine, then a gun store.

* Can I borrow some of your tools? Yes, and while you're at it, maybe I'll loan you a lung and my right arm.

* Will you take me hunting? A: Yes, when Oxygen, Hallmark, and Lifetime are the only channels our cable provider offers.

* Do these jeans make my butt look big? A: No, it's the cookies, cheese burgers, chips and chocolate, the jeans are fine.

* Do you have anything you want to put in my yard sale? A: Yes, but I don't think the cats will sit still long enough for me to staple a price tag on them

Just a few of the things that came to mind, I'll stop while I'm ahead. Tomorrow the 5 thing you should never ask a Women.


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