Cashmere is a really cool town between Wenatchee and Leavenworth and I've always had plenty to do there, but apparently Cameron Jeffrey Wilson felt the need to make life more interesting.

First he shot himself in the scrotum and thigh when a pistol in his pocket went off.

Then he drove Wenatchee to give the gun to a friend, since he's a felon and isn't allowed to have a gun.

Then at the hospital doctors discover a balloon of weed in his ANUS.

Simultaneously police searching his car find a bag of meth in his bloody jeans.

When he was fit enough to report for jail time a few weeks later, he had another balloon of marijuana up his rectum.

Remember the part where they give you one phone call? He used it to call his girlfriend and tell her not to cooperate with the investigation (tampering with a witness).

That brings your total bail to... $110,000 and TWO trials (June 18 and July 9).

We would love to know why he shoved a LEGAL drug up his butt going to the HOSPITAL! Was he going to try to smoke it in the bathroom?

And we REALLY hope the police send "get well" BALLOONS to his jail cell!