I'm havin a boat race party at my house! yer all invited!!...go down squirrel pine rd, take a left at cooter bartlett's house....go down till ya see ol bunky simpsons broken down chevy truck, take another left...look for old man winklers jerky stand & my trailer is just a lil ways down the road...if you see sissy fritzers house you've gone too far.

Here are six ways to tell if you're at the right party:

People are wearing shirts making fun of PETA.

Flickr, dotpolka

Someone who's had too much to drink gets really excited about the idea of an open fire.

Flickr, e53

No one's vehicle looks how the manufacturer intended.

Flickr, erik

There will be men who spend more time grooming their mustache than the whole rest of their body.

Flickr, Joseph Brent

There will be gratuitous displaying of guns and lots of conversations about zombies.

Flickr, Matthew Hogan

People will get "creative" cooling themselves off.

Flickr, tedsblog