If you didn't get your invite to the royal wedding, don't feel bad. Most of us will have to watch it on the tellie, but here are some of the folks who will be there.

I think it's a nice way to start a life together by inviting your exes. William has invited four of his, and Kate invited two of hers. I read somewhere that Kate's brother is coming, but he's a cross dresser, so no one knows if he will be a maid of honor or a groomsman. Elton John, David and Victoria Beckam and Holly Bronson  all made the list. I understand Kate even invited a postman and a butcher from her old neighborhood, the garbage man, water meter reader and the cable guy all had previous engagements, but they send their love.

I wonder if they have a waiting list, you know if someone gets sick or deported they go to the list and call up the next person. I picture a large room with about 100 people milling around, waiting for their name to be called, eating crumpets and sipping tea as their teeth slowly rot. If you care or not it's big news worldwide. I'll watch just in case someone trips, or a drunk in-law shouts absentees at the other family. Wouldn't that be cool, Royal Smackdown 2011. God Bless the Queen.