Our 10 Favorite Answers to ‘Even Though My Dad Made Me…”

Over the weekend our Father's Day contest concluded but we're still laughing at the submissions we received. Here are our 10 favorite:

• Fetch his rolaids from the back of the toilet after bombing it (his favorite prank)…
• blow on his feet to dry them while camping…
• Think he was selling me in the giant nickel when i was younger…
• made me believe i was adopted from apes and that they shaved me every night to look like a human…
• cut the lawn with scissors because I dumped out the mower gas to get out of mowing the lawn…
• wear Crocs to school as a punishment…
• believe Tyson’s chicken was owned by Mike Tyson for most of my life…
• end my first ever driving lesson because I got behind the wheel and yelled “pole position”…
• memorize every 80s song he loves…
• go to the jail when I was 6 for stealing candy from the store…

OK, OK, I'm not done yet:

• think that horseradish was mayo and smeared it all over my sandwich and then he made me eat it…
• stand behind him while he farted in a supermarket or else i’d be grounded…
• hold his hand when we were walking and he would walk me into walls, poles, cars and trash cans. Then he would say pay attention to where you are going, I’m not always going to be here to hold your hand….
• get up early on Saturday mornings and once I was up, he would go sit in his recliner and take a nap…
• touch the hot wire fence to see if it was working (always was)… And never paid me the 5.00 he said he would…
• listen to Rock You like a Hurricane every night as he played his guitar in the basement…

And the random winner was Brendan Knutzen's

"butcher my own pet pig!" -- man, that's cold.