Ah Yes.. Monday night football means a new place to try out my famous pick-up lines. so far it's not working out so well.  huh weird?

DISCLAIMER:  "With Great pick-up line power, comes great pick-up line responsibility" use these with caution..chicks dig em!

Are we related? Do you want to be?


Do you know how to use a whip?


Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?


I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.


I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?


That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.


Wow! You are really beautiful! ,,,,,,you remind me of myself?


I have four words for you "Hol I Day Inn".


Wow, your eyebrows are thick.


I'm not actually this tall. I'm sitting on my wallet.


Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam"?


I want you to have my children (pause) GREAT! They are in the car outside..


Hey, you've got a lawyer's butt. Yep, it's firm.


Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?


Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?


Hey baby, everything I'm going to do tonight… I learned at SeaWorld.


I've got a big nose, big hands, and really big feet. That's right!..... I'm a clown.


I don't know if you know this, but I have a driver's license.