Graduation is such a special time.  A time of achievement. A time of friends and proud, proud family.  12 amazing years of perseverance, dedication and fun. It really is the best time of your life.  Congratulations to all of this year's Grads!  When someone asks what year you graduated, you will proudly say, "2014!"

That being said...you don't graduate from preschool.

You don't graduate from 1st grade.

You just move to the next grade.  Who can't pass first grade, for f***'s sake?  You don't graduate 5th grade, or 9th, or 11th.  Seriously, you just move to the next, working toward...you guessed it, "graduation."

You graduate after successfully completing your senior year, which by the way is 12th, and depending on a 2, 4, 6 or 8 year college program, you graduate appropriately.  You don't graduate college after the first year.

You don't even graduate Candy Crush on the first level.  That's why it's called the first level.

I know everyone thinks it's cute that their 5 year old is decked out in cap and gown for "graduation", but let's stop and think about this for a second.  It's really not about them now, is it.  Hell, they don't even know what all the fuss is about.  All they did was show up, and then this?  This big party and celebration when all I did was color and raise my hand when I had to pee?

Let's stop treating expectation like it's some major achievement.

Today's real Graduates deserve at least that.  Class of 2014...I'm counting on you!

Getty Images, Joe Raedle