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Chuck Comes Clean ta Bizarre Editing

ChuckEinstein
(source: facebook Interest + in house edit)

If you’re hankerin’ for seamless sentence structure and proper punctuation, my blog posts are not going to be good readin’ fer you. I admit it! I’m comin’ clean! I’m no Einstein, I’m Chuck Lee and proud of it! Many co-workers have been giving me trouble about my posts. They say I need me some good editing. But you know what I say to such criticism?! Your comments on my poor grammar are as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. (I don’t care!) Maybe if i was a journalist I would use fancy things like paragraphs and question marks. But I’m a DJ, and this ain’t my first rodeo. I write how I talk and I don’t talk in paragraphs! Think about it?! Some words don’t look the way they sound. So I have now included alternative spellings for all you Yokel Local’s who are tired of spell check infringing on your right to spell how you want.

  • Different – Differnt
  • For – Fer
  • Get going -Skidaddle
  • Tire – Tar
  • Fixing a Flat – Retire
  • Rattle Snake – Buzz Tail
  • Egg – Cackle Berry
  • Mouth – Tator Trap
  • Pretty – Swanky
  • Ignorant- Ignert
  • Slip me a Miki – Have the Intern do that
In short let me sum up my writing as awesome, surprising, bizarre, revealing, amazing, controversial, shocking, mysterious, sexy, ridiculous, inspiring, jaw-dropping, and kind of a big deal.
If writing poorly is a crime then throw me in the Joint, Prison, Jail, The Cooler, The Pokey, The Bighouse, Sing Sing, The Rock, The Pit, The Hole, The Slammer, The Concrete Cubical, or The Clink!
….over  SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

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