Bear Went In And He Came Right Back Out!
Ok so I have reached that age where I need to start keepng an eye on things. I had a very close friend of mine that hated doctors and never had a colonoscopy done. He died from colon cancer at the age f 54. I am 51 and I am planning on living a long healthy life. So besides the worst part which was being on a clear diet and drinking Mirilax and sitting on the toilet for nearly two days the whole thing was pretty eas! Dr Roach and his staff at the GI Lab at Lourdes Medical Center were awesome and I was in and out in about 3 hours.
I did get a clean bill of health but I do have to kick up the fiber in my diet to “keep things moving”. So now as I look that whole experience in “Hind-sight” ha ha! I am glad I did it and I should not have to have another one done for at least 5 years.
So lets throw a little humor at this experience. It is an experience that well is not the most comfortable but it is part of getting older and you should have a sense of humor when these things come up. It helps them go so much smoother!
So here goes! This is my list of the TOP 10 Things I thought I over-heard during my colonoscopy.
1. You don’t see that every day
2. Your right! Yours don’t smell!
3. Open the Turd Bay doors Hal
4. I keep forgetting — are the stalactites the ones on top or the bottom
5. That’s the biggest dingle berry I have every seen!
6. Nurse have you seen my ring?
7. Wow! You don’t see that every day
8. There she blows!
9. No really! Listen how long it takes for the penny to hit bottom!
10. Wow! That’s the first time I’ve ever seen the tube exit through a nostril. Hey, check this out: Right! Left! Right! Left! Wheeee!
Take care of yourself people! It ain’t that big a deal!